adam feldman blog

pastoring is dang hard

This summer Metanoia is walking through Colossians. Two weeks ago I preached through Col. 1.24-2.7 and talked about the call to be a pastor/elder. In the sermon I affirmed that there are many callings and many ministries, and that the call to be a pastor/elder is to equip others to fulfill their callings and ministries.

I also talked about how hard pastoring is. In the text, Paul refers to his work as toil. In Greek the word is agonizomai--the root word we get "agony" from in English. Not many people realize how agonizing pastoring is. Expectations and pressures abound from within the pastor's own heart for the church community that he serves. In the US, many expect the pastor to be an amazing public speaker, a jack-of-all-trades and capable of making everyone happy. Pressure within and pressure from the community that ought to be lovingly supporting the man God has called to serve them is compounded by pressure from our common enemies: Satan, flesh and the world. No wonder 4 out of 5 seminary graduates are no longer serving in full time ministry within 5 years of graduating!

Yet, amidst the agonizomai, there is the sweet promise that God works powerfully in the pastor's ministry. There is the joy of shepherding and guiding Jesus' people through His strength. There is the excitement of leading the only counter-cultural movement the world has ever seen--and the thrill of danger around every corner. There are friendships--statistically few, unfortunately--where the pastor is known and loved as a person and not an "office." There is the hope of one day hearing, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

If you are a pastor and need a word of encouragement, I hope this has been a breath of fresh air for you from someone else in a foxhole just down the trail. If you are not a pastor and want to know how to practically support your pastor, here's the mp3 of my sermon. Download it and pray for the man God has called to equip you for your calling and ministry.

5 years TODAY!

Today my beautiful wife and I celebrate our fifth anniversary! Yesterday we had a little date while Bubbie and Papa watched Abby. It was fun to reminisce on what we were doing "this day 5 years ago" (the day before our wedding). We talked about the stressful things getting ready for the rehearsal and wedding, as well as the funny stories of our bachelorette and bachelor parties. Then, in the quiet afternoon, I spent some time alone thanking Jesus for the amazing gift of marriage and asked his blessing on many more years with Kim.

I love you, babe!

5 years!

I'm sitting next to my wife in a coffee shop. We both have our laptops out and are working. I love being in coffee shops with Kim--we met in one six years ago! This Friday we celebrate our fifth anniversary. My, my, my... time flies!

disappointment

Disappointment.

I began my Doctor of Ministry (DMin) studies a few months ago, and in late May traveled to the seminary (Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary) in Hamilton, MA for a two week residency. Kim and Abigail came up to meet me in Boston over the weekend. Our game plan was to "do" Boston as a family.

Saturday began with a long walk along the Freedom Trail. Walking the Freedom Trail made every history book about the Revolution that I have read come to life! We then spent time walking through the farmers market and ate a wonderful dinner in Little Italy.

Then, around 11:30pm, Kim and I were awakened by Abigail struggling to breathe.

An over-night, sleepless trip to the ER gave the result: croup. Many of you who have children may remember the first time your son or daughter struggled with croup, so you can imagine how scary it was for us to deal with this over 450 miles away from our home in Baltimore! Kim and I were together, but we had no social network to support us. So everyone back home did what they could do--they prayed. We got lots of loving text messages from folks throughout the night.

Needless to say, our Boston trip was for the most part scrapped. But, thank God, Abigail's health returned and she is healthy today.

Disappointment. How do you respond to it? We are all experience disappointment in varying degrees. Recently, my spiritual director challenged me to see disappointment as God's invitation to deeper, more meaningful communion with Him. For, it is in disappointment that we see the truth of our independence our lack of humility juxtaposed against the goodness and mercy of our Father.

Disappointment--from two root words "miss" and "appointment" show us how we miss the mark living our lives as worship to God. Whether the "miss" "appointment" comes from the result of our hands, the hands of others or forces beyond the control of our hands, they are doors to step deeper into communion with Christ.

May you, today, experience the peace of Christ as you let his grace work wonders in your soul. Invite him into your "miss" "appointment."

dmin studies

I'm sorry for the profound silence on my blog over the past month. I took a bit of a hiatus as I prepared for my first residency of DMin studies at G-CTS. Loads of reading, two papers and two weeks of on-site residency in Boston have kept me out of the loop of pretty much everything. Once I get settled this week, I'll return again to some regular posting.

Cheers!

Howard County Teacher of the Year: my wife!

A couple of weeks ago I shared with you that Kim received the honor of "Teacher of the Year" for her high school. Earlier this morning the Superintendent of the Howard County Public School System showed up in her classroom with an entourage of administrators and photographers to let her know in person that she is being honored as the "Teacher of the Year" for the entire county!

Congratulations, Kim!

If you know my wife, you know that this is not something she sought after. She isn't the kind of person who is driven by awards and recognition, and has never made it her ambition to receive such recognition during a school year.

I am so proud of you, Kim! I am so grateful that Father has allowed you and OMHS to be honored in this way. I love you!

doctoral work & book writing

A few weeks ago I shared with you that phasing out of roasting coffee at the Bean Hollow Cafe was a good thing for my family due in part to some changes coming down the pike. Well, here it is: I'm back in school working on my doctorate.

Last month I began working on a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min) degree through Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (Boston). I am concentrating my studies in the area of spiritual formation and spiritual theology. I have always been interested in how a Christian experiences the work of God's grace transforming her life ("sanctification"), but more recently I have taken a deeper interest in the subject.

About a year ago a book concept related to spiritual formation popped into my head. As I began exploring the concept I realized that I could probably earn a doctorate at the same time that I wrote the book. So, one of my desires in this doctorate program is that I will also produce that book.

I selected this particular D.Min program at G-CTS because of its heavy focus on contextualized ministry application--Metanoia will reap the benefits of my education immediately.

It is fair to anticipate that the subject matter and tenor of my blog will shift to focus more on my area of studies. How much so is yet to be determined. I'll keep my Facebook account for more personal updating.

teacher of the year!

"Congratulations" are in order for my wife, Kimberly, who was recently honored as "Teacher of the Year" at her high school! (Of course, we didn't need anyone to tell us how special she is--we knew it all along!)

review: nbc's "kings"

NBC's new series, "Kings," premiered on Sunday night. I was casually flipping through channels when I stumbled upon it 15 minutes or so after it began. I was immediately snagged by the quality of production (think "24" or "Lost" production value). Kim and I watched the next 45 minutes and then turned the show off, missing the second half of the premiere. We were under the assumption that the show takes place in a future USAmerica where our nation abdicates democracy for a monarchy...but we were (happily) mistaken.

As I lay in bed that night I kept thinking about the few minutes that I saw and realized that what I was actually watching was a modern take on the story of Israel's King Saul and King David. Now, this would be painfully obvious to someone who had seen the first 15 minutes and was introduced to a few dead giveaways: the capital city is "Shiloh," the reverend's name is Rev. Samuels, David's father is named Jesse, David is a warrior who takes on a giant military tank called a "Goliath," oh, and, the nation fighting against David's army is called "Gath" (from where the Biblical Goliath hails).

So on Monday I watched the entirety of the "Kings" premiere on Hulu and was quite surprised how close to the Biblical record the writers went. Granted they took a few liberty's. King Silas' (the King Saul of "Kings") son, Jake, is not friends with David--at least, not yet. This is a difference from the David/Jonathan relationship in the OT. That said, Jake leads an ambush against Gath which is similar to Jonathan's ambush against the Philistines as recorded in 1 Samuel 14--except that Jake fails whereas Jonathan succeeded.

My verdict? I'm adding "Kings" to my weekly television queue. I recently dropped "Chuck" after a disappointing second season that depends way too much on sexual innuendo to keep the audience's attention, so "Kings" will take its place.

I am particularly interested to see how far they will go with the succession of Israel's Kings. Will they stop with David? Will they go on to show Solomon's building of the temple? How about Solomon's son, Rehoboam, who divides the kingdom? Will we see Elijah or Elisha? All fun things to think about.

Would I recommend "Kings?" Sure. Of course, I've only seen the first 2 hours, so who knows how the rest of the season will pan out. Anyone of Christian or Jewish faith would find it intriquing and entertaining to watch--bearing in mind that it is a fictional modernization of the story.

book review: planting churches in the real world

Title: Planting Churches In the Real World
Author: Joel Rainey
Genre: Church Planting; Missiology
Rating (1-5): 4.0
Review:

This church planting book is like few other church planting books that you will read. Most church planting books talk about the brokenness, heartache, evaporated dreams, crushed expectations, spiritual darkness and marital tension that accompany church planting in esoteric language as something that you can expect to happen, but rarely fully disclose the pain of it all. This book does, too. The difference is that Joel Rainey invites you into his own personal struggle through the non-glamorous side of church planting.

Then there are other church planting books written by planters who started a church and within 3 years were seeing well over 3,000 people in their weekly gatherings. While these books are inspiring and very beneficial for learning from a first-hand church planting practicioner, they are not the stories of the majority of church planters. The difference in this book is that Rainey freely acknowledges that most church plants start slow and rarely, if ever, grow to the large mass gatherings read about in other books.

Hence the title: Planting Churches in the Real World. I would add: "By a real world church planter!"

Highlights:

• Assess yourself: Dr. Rainey puts all the cards on the table essentially saying, "Here's what you can expect. Heartache and joy mixed together in the most exciting thing you could ever do." The first chapter is devoted to helping the reader determine if he/she is prepared and called to plant a church for the right reasons. While you'll find more academic assessments in other books, this book comes from personal experience in addtion to academic rationale.
• Ecclesiology & Missology: This book approaches church leadership structures and methods of church planting with a well informed Biblicial theology. Dr. Rainey addresses controversial issues like women in pastoral ministry head on.
• Accessible: This book is written for the masses. If anyone ever wonders if he/she is called to the unique ministry of church planting, this should be the first book they read. Other books can be read later to help round out the nuances of "how-to" plant a church (such as Malphurs' Planting Growing Churches for the 21st Century or Stetzer's Planting Missional Churches).

Finally, I know Dr. Rainey personally--he was my own planting coach for my first two-and-a-half year planting Metanoia Church. There is no pretense in Dr. Rainey's writing. Who you read is who you meet in person. I find myself very fortunate to have been coached my someone as transparent and knowledgable as Dr. Rainey.