adam feldman blog: rain delay +2.5 days & spiritual discipline tuesday: guidance

It figures that on the day when I would write about the spiritual discipline of guidance, I should be the one to practically engage it. To talk about guidance, I will give you a story of how I unwittingly sought it today...

I'll be the first to admit that my frustration with our baby being 2 days late has been an irritation--and until about two hours ago the last to admit how silly it is to be frustrated about a baby being "late" when in reality the baby is quite on time. More about that later. Anyway, I have blogged about it and you have counseled me through it (thank you!). I did not realize, however, how deep this irritation went into my soul until the two women I love most--the one who gave birth to me and the one who is giving birth to my child--confronted me about it today.

Kim's Guidance. I enjoy our afternoon walks. Actually, I am going to miss them for the few weeks that we can't get out together and hold each other's hands whilst we walk around the neighborhood. As we were walking today I confessed to Kim that part of my irritation has to do with feeling unproductive and the fact that for a brief period of time our income will drop (we have prepared for this by saving over the past nine months). In doing so, she put words to my angst and reminded me that life isn't about being productive, but just "being." Something I say a lot, but needed to be reminded of.

I realized that I have "conformed to the pattern of this world" (Romans 12:1-2) in my thinking and attitude. Kim again put words to this and reminded me that we live in a society saturated with an attitude of entitlement, demanding rights and instant gratification. I should be rejoicing that my wife will have the next few days "off" and can simply "be" Kimberly.

Mom's Guidance. Don't you hate it when your parents continually remind you that they still have two-and-a-half more decades of life experience under their belt? Mom set me straight over the phone today. She essentially told me (Adam's paraphrase): "Get over it. This is not about you." Ouch. Zinger! But, in all honesty, the "truth in love" that I needed to hear. It crushed my pride, and I repented before the Lord Jesus confessing to Him my sinful arrogance at thinking I knew better than He. (Dang.)

She reminded me of two truths: First, this is not an isolated event, but merely the beginning of a life that I will progressively be lived for someone else more and more. Again my own paraphrase: "This is a small lesson that your children will not accommodate your plans most of the time!" Secondly, she reminded me of the beautiful truth in Psalm 139:13-16 that the birth of our child is actually not about the birth of our child, but is about Jesus Christ choosing to give our child his/her first day outside of the womb. Our baby is first of all Christ's child--the life and breath he/she will breath is not our own, but a gift from Christ. Again, how arrogant of me to think that I know the best circumstances and times for our child to be born. In this light, our child is not "late," but radically "on time."

A note to well meaning friends: I know I blasted you in my post earlier today. Please understand, it does irritate me to hear the same question over and over again--its like a broken record--but I really do appreciate your care and concern. Heck, I'm glad you even care enough to keep a pulse on my life!! I love you, too.

A final word on guidance

If there is anything that should be said beyond my personal experience with guidance it would be the following few truths:

Guidance is a step toward wisdom and a step away from arrogance.
Guidance is a 101 level course in Jesus' Humility Training School.
Guidance honors relationships.
Guidance that honors Jesus and matures the disciple always leads the disciple into deeper dependence upon Him and His Word.

Spiritual Discipline Tuesday series

The following bloggers have posted about guidance (click the name to see the post): Paul Del Signore.

Archive list of the disciplines (with links) and the bloggers involved in this series available via my series introduction post.